


Blow

by Callendra



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, Is it really crack when Deadpool is involve..., PWP, some little fun I had
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:38:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4028821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callendra/pseuds/Callendra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadpool is on a mission, and he intends to complete it successfully, but not without his music. Crack!Fic. Inspired by a song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blow

**Author's Note:**

> Damn Deadpool is fun to write... Got inspired after I heard one special song (the title is... in the title xD and the author in the fiction) and after I saw a walkthrough of the recent game "Deadpool: the game". Enjoy!

Deadpool fixed the last explosive charge, namely the sixteenth, before he straightened and stretched, admiring his work.

“Ah! A good thing done…” he stated, rubbing his gloved hands together.

**“Let’s blow it up!”**

_“Patience. We must reach the west wing first.”_

**“Uh… spoilsport…”**

The mercenary pulled his iPod out of his belt and put the black and red headphones on his ears. An amused laugh could be heard in the earpieces. His hips started to sway on their own accord while his shoulders rocked along with the beat of the music.  
He strolled about, or rather pranced about, down the corridors, taking his time to enjoy the song, slowly heading to the said west wing without making the slightest effort to go unnoticed. They were already aware of his presence anyway. Oh he could have teleported directly at the right place but where was the fun in it?

When he encountered Monty’s henchmen he never lost his rhythm, unsheathing his katana twins, perfectly mixing his deadly whirls and little dance steps. At the bend of a hallway he finally reached his destination and entered backwards, twerking with less than more elegance, into a large assembly room with comfortable couches and huge glass windows overlooking the city of San Francisco. He spun on his heels and stopped dead in his tracks, his hands crossed behind his head and his crotch pushed forward in a suggestive manner. About fifteen heavily armed with machine-guns underlings were standing twenty feet in front of him. He let his gaze wander from one to the other before he got back to wiggling blithely.

“We are taking… over… ♫” he sang with Kesha. “Get used to it. Okay… This place’s about to blow! Oh oh oh oh! ♪”

**“This is going to be good!”**

_“They can’t say we didn’t warn them…”_

The subordinates remained immobile in front of this hare-brained show, glancing at one another with appalled looks. They lifted their weapons and started shooting at the troublemaker. Wade continued dancing, his body shaken by the bullets piercing his skin.

“Ouh! Aouch! Oh it tickles…”

A tremendous deflagration rang out, the walls trembling around them. The men stopped shooting, glancing around in a silent stupor. Deadpool shook his whole body, as if a shudder had just passed through him. The wall behind him suddenly got smashed to bits and the blast violently threw him right into the glass window which shattered into sharp pieces. He continued his course, flying fast towards the building across the street while his enemies’ cries were echoing behind him.

**“Whaouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!”**

Wade activated the teleportation device on his belt and landed on the roof of the building, avoiding a painful crash four hundred feet below. He turned around to contemplate his masterpiece: smoke was escaping the gaping hole now replacing the west and south wings, and fragments of the now burst open façade were falling towards the pavements. He grabbed his headphones, hanging against his leg after his jump, and put them back in his belt.

_“This was easier than expected.”_

**“This was insane! Let’s do it again!”**

_“We will… but all in good time.”_

“Shush will you? I have a phone call to make… Heeeey Spidey… What’s up honey?”

“… Wade…”

“What are you up to tonight? I’m feeling like having some chimichangas! Nothing better after a mission. Aaand I want to share it with you.”

“I am not in the mood for your nonsense tonight…”

“Perfect! I am heading back to New York, see you there! I can’t wait…” he made noisy sounds of kissing before he hung up, smiling under his mask. He stretched and jumped off the building.


End file.
